‘Kids pick up on their parents emotionality’: Talking to children about the war in Iran

RICHMOND, Va. (WRIC) — It’s now been more than a month since tensions started to rise between Iran, Israel and the United States.

You may have noticed more images and videos of the war in Iran popping up across social media -- or maybe you’ve seen some impacts right here at home. For many parents, it’s prompting tough but important conversations with their kids.

“I, even as a parent, sometimes have concerns about what they're seeing on all the different platforms because if there’s no context, right, and they're just seeing these short videos, it can be disruptive, it can be scary,” said LPC Anna McChesney.

McChesney owns the Center for Creative Healing, and is a mother herself. She said if your kids are getting curious, it's best to start with a simple, calm conversation.

"I would start with asking what the kids know and how they feel about it, leaving it a little more open-ended and also bringing it up in a natural situation. I always recommend in the car when you're just driving, or maybe at dinner" she said.

McChesney said it's best to stay away from phrases like 'good guy' or 'bad guy', which can paint an overly black-and-white picture. Most importantly, she said, reassure your kids that they are safe and make sure you’re in a calm mental space before talking.

"Be really careful about like what body language you may be showing, because kids pick up on the parents’ emotionality," McChesney said.

For parents with older kids, she said she suggests a similar open-ended approach. However, it's good to be prepared for teenagers to come in with their own information, often shaped by friends or social media.

"That's actually a really important process in development for those older kids, being understanding that it is part of them starting to differentiate from their parents," she said.

McChesney also said she encourages parents to take care of themselves too.

"Those are choices that you can make as an adult by turning it off. You can change your channel, so to speak, or switch over to something that gives you a different kind of feeling," she said.

She added that finding a licensed professional counselor to talk to could also be helpful for adults, or people of any age.