Labor of Love: Nurses offer comfort and tangible memories to families after infant loss

CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, Va. — October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month, a crucial time to honor the lives of babies lost too soon. That mission of remembrance and support is carried out year-round by dedicated Labor and Delivery nurses across all Bon Secours hospitals.

For Siobhan Martindale, a Labor and Delivery Nurse at St. Mary's, her job involves not just welcoming new life, but also being a shoulder to lean on when a family suffers a child loss.

"I often will pray with my patients and those moments before the hard things start to be discussed. We cry. All of us. We cry together,” Martindale said.

Martindale knows the weight of that loss because she has experienced it herself.

"As a health care provider as well as a parent that's lost. It's something you never forget. However, these things happen all year round," she said.

To help with the difficult grieving process, Martindale and her team offer tangible memories of the baby’s life, starting with a memory box.

Memory box example for grieving families

Pictured: Madison Moore (left), Siobhan Martindale (right)

"We fill it with various items that pertain to the family," she said. "We have the ability to put little footprint sheets, take footprints of your baby."

The nurses recognize that leaving the hospital with empty arms is one of the hardest moments. To help with this, Weighted Angels are offered.

Weighted Angel getting swaddled

"These are stuffed animals that are weighted, so they are meant to represent the weight of your baby," Martindale explained.

To provide families with the most precious gift -- time to say goodbye -- the hospital utilizes a special tool called the Cuddle Cot.

"The Cuddle Cot is meant to allow moms and dads and families to keep their baby that has passed in their room with them for as long as they need, in order to have closure," Martindale said.

By sharing her own experience, Martindale offers a powerful message of healing and hope.

"I am also the story of, like, you go on to have healthy babies. This is not the end of your story. And trying to help them see that there is a light. It is hard right now, but it does get better," she said.

Central Virginia mothers who have experienced infant or pregnancy loss have access to several vital community-based and hospital-affiliated resources, providing both emotional support and tangible assistance.

These local non-profits specialize in loss and grief counseling, offering structured support groups and individual counseling services:

• Full Circle Grief Center (Richmond): Offers an 8-week Perinatal Loss Group for parents grieving the death of an infant or a late-term pregnancy loss (stillbirth, medical complication, prematurity). They also offer general grief counseling and resources.
  • To inquire or register, you should contact their program manager.
• MISS Foundation - (Richmond): Provides crisis and long-term support for families after the death of a child at any age, including perinatal loss. They offer local support groups, including specific groups for early miscarriage.
• Star Legacy Foundation (Virginia Chapter): A national organization with a local chapter that supports families regarding all aspects of pregnancy and infant loss. They offer a free Peer Support Program to match grieving parents with someone who has had a similar loss experience.
• Birth in Color RVA: A non-profit that offers grief support, community events, and doula services for bereaved families, focusing on reproductive justice and maternal health.