‘We were robbed’: Remembering Adam Oakes 5 years later

RICHMOND, Va. (WRIC) — It has been nearly five years since the death of Adam Oakes, a Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) freshman who died due to hazing in 2021.

The morning of Saturday, Feb. 27, 2021, Oakes was found dead after an off-campus party held by the VCU Chapter of the Delta Chi fraternity, which he was pledging to. It was determined he died as a result of alcohol poisoning following a hazing incident.

His family, along with members of VCU Hazing Prevention, continue to remember Adam while advancing efforts to prevent future tragedies. The most recent event honoring Adam, "Adam's Day of Remembrance," was held on Tuesday, Feb. 24.

His loved ones said one of the hardest parts is living with all the moments they’ll never get back -- moments like watching him graduate, among other milestones. They mourn the life he never got to live.

"Adam won’t graduate from VCU, he won’t get a rewarding job -- he won’t fall in love, get married, have kids and give us grandkids," said Adam's father, Eric Oakes, on Monday. "So there’s so many things that he was robbed of. We were robbed."

Adam Oakes' family speaks to the media during "Adam's Day of Remembrance" on Tuesday, Feb. 24. (Photo: Sara Molina/8News)

For his family, the wounds remain raw nearly five years later.

"It’s almost harder today than it was then, because so much has happened since to continue his legacy," said Courtney White, Adam’s cousin.

In the years since Adam's death, White -- alongside Eric and Linda Oakes -- founded the "Love Like Adam Foundation," a nonprofit focused on kindness and hazing prevention.

"Courtney made the suggestion that we can use this as a teaching moment," Eric Oakes said. "I would have been just happy curling up in a ball in the corner of a room."

The family said their advocacy work -- which includes things like Tuesday's hazing prevention workshop -- has been "therapeutic," even amid tragedy.

"I don’t know that we’ve slowed down long enough to realize and allow ourselves that time to grieve and process that he’s not coming back," White said.

Adam’s death led to VCU’s Delta Chi chapter being shut down. A total of 11 men were originally charged with hazing-related crimes, with six of them ultimately either pleading guilty or no contest to those charges. The remaining five saw their charges dropped.

"I love coming here for the remembrances and things, but there’s always that moment when we get into Richmond where it’s just sad -- or we drove by his dorm room, and I was like, 'Wow, that was such a blur,'" White said.

While the family is proud of the work they’ve done, they emphasize that no new law or advocacy effort can restore the life they lost.

"The love that he showed the family, to Linda and I, and his friends, just … if more people could be like that, this world would be a better place," Eric Oakes said.